This is a record for me, posting so soon after my last entry...I hope that it hasn't shocked anyone too much!!
I really wanted to put some of my thoughts into writing, in a hope that they will make a little more sense to me when I read them.
As you know I was recently in hospital in a not so good way. Well this goes back to the Sunday that I was to be taken to theatre for the operation to try and deal with the infection which I had.
I remember receiving many pieces of conflicting information from numerous doctors who presented themselves at my bed. This in itself did not exactly fill me with confidence. Also over the days many of my questions remained without answers, and any answers which I had been given seemed to be out of context compared to the actual questions which I asked. It was clear to me that they were not being totally forthcoming with me. Whether this was puposely done to try not to stress me too much, or as part of them covering their rear ends is still yet to be established, but I will seek the truth!
On the Sunday I was aware that I would be returning to theatre and I had a horrible feeling that all was not well. I remember specifically thinking that I would not pull through, and I rapidly became rather distressed. I wrote Debbie a letter in the form of an email on my iPhone and even recorded a video message for the kids telling them how much I loved them, etc.
Bishop Damien arrived to give me Holy Communion (Spritual as I was nil by mouth), and during this I was in tears. I remember as I received Communion I said "Come into my heart O Lord" and I suddenly felt very peaceful...kind of at one. The tears stopped and I was calm in my heart and mind, but still with a strange sense that my time in this world was coming to an end.
I remember the painful journey from the ward to theatre and then being in the aneasthetic room being prepared. I then did something that I have never done before an operation before. As I was laid there and they were preparing to put me to sleep I said the Lord's Prayer. I had given up the fight, I had given up trust in doctors, I just put all of my trust in God. My life was now totally in God's hands. I wanted God to do what He decided was right.
I then remember (just like a vivid dream) that at some stage during my stay in ITU I had two paths in front of me. It now makes sense when I have heard people say that they have had a near death experience and saw a bright light.
One of these paths appeared smooth and calm, very peaceful with a beautiful light at the end. It was like a magnet pulling me towards it. The other path appeared broken and very stormy, like a dark forest, with a clear sense of danger, but with a light further in the distance. I had a choice to make. Typically for me I didn't choose the easy path. I took the stormy one!
I now believe that the peaceful path was the path to pass from this life. The path which I chose was the path with a battle to be had enroute. Somehow I sensed this at the time and something told me that this was the only chance I had. It reminds me of the saying 'Don't give up without a fight'. Something managed to pull me away from the magnet drawing me to the calm path. It gave me a chance to break away from the forceful pull and get onto the rough path. That something has a name...God!
God gave me a choice, it wasn't easy, but then being a Christian is not about having an easy life is it? God was showing me that there is an alternative. He was providing me with a solution as I had shown my unquestionable faith in Him when being prepared for theatre.
This whole situation has made my faith even stronger than before! In my time of need I had nothing but faith. I put my trust in God and He was there for me, He offered the path and through choice I followed. I made the right choice and that choice was simply to have faith!
Until next time....
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Sunday 7 August 2011
I'm just going to take your temperature!
I know, yet another delay in me posting...still, I guess I'm lucky to be writing this at all after what I've been through lately!
I shall fill you in with all of the exciting details. On Tuesday 19th July I went to see my GP with some pain in my abdomen which had been present for a day or two. He did some pushing and poking and came to the conclusion that it was most likely that I had appendicitis, so promptly sent me to our local hospital, the William Harvey in Ashford.
They were expecting me upon arrival as he had made a telephone call, so I was off to a good start. I was examined by a couple of doctors from the surgical team who agreed with my Gp's diagnosis and confirmed that I needed surgery the same day to remove my appendix. They inserted a cannula (needle) and promptly gave me some morphine as pain relief which was most welcomed!
After a short wait in A&E I was moved to a ward and after a further wait of a couple of hours or so I was taken to theatre and put to sleep. Later that day I came round and was a little uncomfortable, but nothing that wasn't to be expected I guess. I continued with pain relief and spent the night in hospital.
The next day I woke and got out of bed and sat in the bedside chair for a while, but the pain level was quite high, despite the nursing staff saying that it shouldn't be that bad. Throughout the day there was no improvement and I was becoming increasingly hot and the pain level was increasing, both around the wound but also in my right side. I had a CT scan which showed nothing untoward so I am told, so they told me that I had a chest infection and started treatment for that. I was also told that during my surgery my bowel was slightly damaged, but this was repaired and they were confident that my present condition was not as a result of this.
Instead of getting better I was getting worse. One doctor noticed a redness on my side and drew around this with a marker pen. Within hours the redness had expanded outside of the marked area. The treatment with antibiotics and pain relief continued.
Luckily I had a bedside fan, without this I feel that I would have been totally unable to cope as I felt so hot and sick all of the time.
To cut a long story short I was eventually taken back to theatre on the Sunday evening as one consultant wanted to open me up and have a look at what was happening. I have since been told that three quarters of a pint of pus was drained from me. I was very poorly and was taken to intensive care where i was placed on life support (ventilator, etc). I remained there until the following day when I was taken to theatre again for further debridement, after which I was returned to ITU.
Late on Tuesday I was transferred from ITU to a surgical ward where I remained until being discharged from hospital on 30th July. I have since learnt that I had a post-op infection called necrotising fasciitis, which is basically a flesh eating superbug. It has a high mortality rate, reported as being about 73%. Stopping it has been described as trying to "stop a freight train with tissue paper".
I now have a large open surgical wound, or great big hole, as it is more commonly known, which has a special dressing on it which uses a pump. It is called VAC Therapy, which stands for Vacuum Assisted Closure. It uses negative pressure to drain the wound, promote good tissue and slowly draw the would closed. It is meant to be quicker than more traditional dressings, etc. The downside is that I have a long tube attached to me and a small pump that I must take everywhere, so it limits what I can do.
Needless to say, I am not at work at the moment, despite me saying that I wanted to go back at least for a few hours! Bishop damien and Roy were having none of it. I have managed to persuade them to let me answer emails and try and manage web orders from home though...as this will help keep my mind occupied and I'll feel of some use. They've even kindly provided me with a laptop and printer for the purpose.
The idea is that I can process the order and telephone my assistant, Beatrice, who is covering in the shop, with the details. She can pack and ship the order following my instructions and I can handle the specific paperwork.
I am not going to Church either at the moment, as I simply get too exhausted too quickly and often have to lay down to either recharge and/or relieve the pain, despite taking strong painkillers. The dressing also has to be changed 3 times a week by the district nurses, so again, this restricts my activities.
Bishop Damien visited me in hospital several times and gave me Holy Communion, this was very much appreciated. The visits were important to me and did bring me some comfort. Especially the one on the Sunday of my operation. I was rather upset as I knew something would go wrong (I ended up in ITU), and the Spritual Communion IO received then gave me a real sense of calm.
Roy also visited me in hospital, and his sebse of humour lifted me somewhat, although it hurt when he made me laugh. He has been undergoing some stomach pains himself, and so I realise that he really did go the extra mile by visiting me...so, if you're reading this...thanks Roy!
Of course there was also Debbie, she visited every day and I think that she was worried, although I've since found out that the doctors were not toatlly open with her about things either. It would seem that there was a toatl breakdown in communications and trying to get information from them was (and remains) like trying to get blood out of a stone!
Bishop Damien posted a message about me on the Church website and people have also found out about my problems through the shop. Many have offered their prayers and sent their good wishes. I would like to thank everyone, I believe that faith has played a major part in my recovery. Our Lord obviously still has palns for me in this world, and so I did not form part of that 73% that lose the battle against this condition.
I have got to have the dressing reassessed on 12th August, at which time they will decide whether to continue with it or seek an alternative. It is a very expensive treatment, costing well over £1000 per week! On 9th September I have got a review with my consultant.
I am hoping to get back to work as soon as possible, although it may be on reduced hours to start with. At least I do have Beatrice to assist me. I understand that she has coped well so far, although she is still learning the ropes.
I also want to fully recover by October, as I am still intending to attend our Provincial Synod in Florida.
On the plus side, i have lost just over a stone...but I could think of a fair few healthier ways to lose weight!
Anyway, hopefully I'll continue to make progress. I'll keep my status updated on here.
On a sad note, one of our priests, Father Tim Perkins, lost his battle with cancer and passed away on 4th August 2011. He will be missed. Please pray for the repose of his soul and also for his family, friends, etc.
Bishop Damien and Roy have gone away on holiday to Austria. I think I'm right in saying that Gemima (Roy's daughter) and Margaret and Laurence have also gone. I trust that they'll have a relaxing holiday without all of the recent stresses!
That's about it for now. I will honestly try and update a bit sooner next time, as I'm at home I probably have little excuse to be honest at the moment. So keep a look out for the latest wound updates!!
Until next time.....
I shall fill you in with all of the exciting details. On Tuesday 19th July I went to see my GP with some pain in my abdomen which had been present for a day or two. He did some pushing and poking and came to the conclusion that it was most likely that I had appendicitis, so promptly sent me to our local hospital, the William Harvey in Ashford.
They were expecting me upon arrival as he had made a telephone call, so I was off to a good start. I was examined by a couple of doctors from the surgical team who agreed with my Gp's diagnosis and confirmed that I needed surgery the same day to remove my appendix. They inserted a cannula (needle) and promptly gave me some morphine as pain relief which was most welcomed!
After a short wait in A&E I was moved to a ward and after a further wait of a couple of hours or so I was taken to theatre and put to sleep. Later that day I came round and was a little uncomfortable, but nothing that wasn't to be expected I guess. I continued with pain relief and spent the night in hospital.
The next day I woke and got out of bed and sat in the bedside chair for a while, but the pain level was quite high, despite the nursing staff saying that it shouldn't be that bad. Throughout the day there was no improvement and I was becoming increasingly hot and the pain level was increasing, both around the wound but also in my right side. I had a CT scan which showed nothing untoward so I am told, so they told me that I had a chest infection and started treatment for that. I was also told that during my surgery my bowel was slightly damaged, but this was repaired and they were confident that my present condition was not as a result of this.
Instead of getting better I was getting worse. One doctor noticed a redness on my side and drew around this with a marker pen. Within hours the redness had expanded outside of the marked area. The treatment with antibiotics and pain relief continued.
Luckily I had a bedside fan, without this I feel that I would have been totally unable to cope as I felt so hot and sick all of the time.
To cut a long story short I was eventually taken back to theatre on the Sunday evening as one consultant wanted to open me up and have a look at what was happening. I have since been told that three quarters of a pint of pus was drained from me. I was very poorly and was taken to intensive care where i was placed on life support (ventilator, etc). I remained there until the following day when I was taken to theatre again for further debridement, after which I was returned to ITU.
Late on Tuesday I was transferred from ITU to a surgical ward where I remained until being discharged from hospital on 30th July. I have since learnt that I had a post-op infection called necrotising fasciitis, which is basically a flesh eating superbug. It has a high mortality rate, reported as being about 73%. Stopping it has been described as trying to "stop a freight train with tissue paper".
I now have a large open surgical wound, or great big hole, as it is more commonly known, which has a special dressing on it which uses a pump. It is called VAC Therapy, which stands for Vacuum Assisted Closure. It uses negative pressure to drain the wound, promote good tissue and slowly draw the would closed. It is meant to be quicker than more traditional dressings, etc. The downside is that I have a long tube attached to me and a small pump that I must take everywhere, so it limits what I can do.
Needless to say, I am not at work at the moment, despite me saying that I wanted to go back at least for a few hours! Bishop damien and Roy were having none of it. I have managed to persuade them to let me answer emails and try and manage web orders from home though...as this will help keep my mind occupied and I'll feel of some use. They've even kindly provided me with a laptop and printer for the purpose.
The idea is that I can process the order and telephone my assistant, Beatrice, who is covering in the shop, with the details. She can pack and ship the order following my instructions and I can handle the specific paperwork.
I am not going to Church either at the moment, as I simply get too exhausted too quickly and often have to lay down to either recharge and/or relieve the pain, despite taking strong painkillers. The dressing also has to be changed 3 times a week by the district nurses, so again, this restricts my activities.
Bishop Damien visited me in hospital several times and gave me Holy Communion, this was very much appreciated. The visits were important to me and did bring me some comfort. Especially the one on the Sunday of my operation. I was rather upset as I knew something would go wrong (I ended up in ITU), and the Spritual Communion IO received then gave me a real sense of calm.
Roy also visited me in hospital, and his sebse of humour lifted me somewhat, although it hurt when he made me laugh. He has been undergoing some stomach pains himself, and so I realise that he really did go the extra mile by visiting me...so, if you're reading this...thanks Roy!
Of course there was also Debbie, she visited every day and I think that she was worried, although I've since found out that the doctors were not toatlly open with her about things either. It would seem that there was a toatl breakdown in communications and trying to get information from them was (and remains) like trying to get blood out of a stone!
Bishop Damien posted a message about me on the Church website and people have also found out about my problems through the shop. Many have offered their prayers and sent their good wishes. I would like to thank everyone, I believe that faith has played a major part in my recovery. Our Lord obviously still has palns for me in this world, and so I did not form part of that 73% that lose the battle against this condition.
I have got to have the dressing reassessed on 12th August, at which time they will decide whether to continue with it or seek an alternative. It is a very expensive treatment, costing well over £1000 per week! On 9th September I have got a review with my consultant.
I am hoping to get back to work as soon as possible, although it may be on reduced hours to start with. At least I do have Beatrice to assist me. I understand that she has coped well so far, although she is still learning the ropes.
I also want to fully recover by October, as I am still intending to attend our Provincial Synod in Florida.
On the plus side, i have lost just over a stone...but I could think of a fair few healthier ways to lose weight!
Anyway, hopefully I'll continue to make progress. I'll keep my status updated on here.
On a sad note, one of our priests, Father Tim Perkins, lost his battle with cancer and passed away on 4th August 2011. He will be missed. Please pray for the repose of his soul and also for his family, friends, etc.
Bishop Damien and Roy have gone away on holiday to Austria. I think I'm right in saying that Gemima (Roy's daughter) and Margaret and Laurence have also gone. I trust that they'll have a relaxing holiday without all of the recent stresses!
That's about it for now. I will honestly try and update a bit sooner next time, as I'm at home I probably have little excuse to be honest at the moment. So keep a look out for the latest wound updates!!
Until next time.....
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